Monthly Archives: June 2010

Collard Greens

For some reason that has never been clearly articulated to me, people in the South are obsessed with eating collard greens.

Collards are large, leafy, green vegetables that are plunged in a pot and boiled.

To me, they are absolutely revolting. Collards, while cooking, smell not unlike a dead rat caught in a heater. The smell simply lingers afterwards. I’m not joking.

The taste isn’t quite that bad, but imagine a subdued dead rat taste mixed with grass. There you go.

Traditionally, people put hot peppers or hot sauce on collards, as far as I understand it. However, I’ve never been brave enough to try them more than once, and I just generally don’t partake of them when others eat them. More for them, I suppose!

Other kinds of greens are also cooked: mustard greens, turnip greens, and so forth. All of them are equally disgusting, in my humble opinion.


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Posted by on June 24, 2010 in food


Veggie Bacon

Some vegetarian alternatives to meat aren’t really that great.

The Smart Dogs are absolutely terrible.

However, an especially delicious food is the veggie bacon by Morning Star.

The bacon is easy enough to prepare- you simply place in a skillet over medium to medium-high heat and cook for a few minutes. The bacon browns nicely, like real bacon.

The taste is very close to Bac’N Bits, but perhaps more like actual bacon to some degree.

The instructions also say you can microwave it.

Microwaving it is a bad, bad idea- it will simply taste like soggy bacon bits, and parts of it may burn. Absolutely revolting.

The bacon goes well on sandwiches and burgers, but sometimes I get so hungry that I eat a few pieces by myself!

Have you ever tried vegetarian bacon before? If not, I highly recommend it!


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Posted by on June 20, 2010 in food



The small town where I live is famous (at least locally) for its tomatoes. The tomato industry here is so important that each year, in the month of June, we hold a Tomato Festival.

Unfortunately, I do not frequently attend those.

Tomatoes are a nice investment because they’re incredibly versatile, and at my house, we use tomatoes more than almost any other vegetable. Other frequently used veggies include onions and bell peppers, with cucumbers coming not far after that.

Tomatoes can be cut up into a salad, made into a sauce, salsa, into a soup, or used to garnish other dishes.

A favorite food in the South is fried green tomatoes. For those of you who are unaware, tomatoes start out as green, and as they ripen, the turn increasingly redder.

Green tomatoes are first sliced and then breaded, then added to hot oil to fry them. Fried green tomatoes have an almost sour taste to them, but they’re absolutely delicious! If you’ve never had them, they’re well worth it.

Tomato gravy is another good dish, in which gravy is made and then tomatoes are added. This is delicious with biscuits, and I’ll probably do a blog dedicated to just that later on.

Seriously, try those fried green tomatoes.

Happy eating!


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Posted by on June 17, 2010 in food


Freeze Pops and M&M Thoughts

A few days ago, I had my first freeze pop of the summer. Blue is my favorite color, and so naturally I chose a blue one. I forgot how good they actually taste! There’s something fun about pushing the pop up and tasting the fresh parts of the ice. They’re a really quick way to cool down in the Summer.

Another thought I had today: I ate some M&Ms, and I recall that one of the slogans is that it’s the "chocolate candy that melts in your mouth, not in your hand."

Are you kidding me? Have the makers of M&Ms ever actually held them in their hands for any length of time? Now, you may not necessarily have a sludgy chocolate in your hand, but those candy shells? They totally melt into your hands. Grab a handful of M&Ms, hold them in your fist for a few minutes, then pop them in your mouth and tell me if your hand doesn’t have a rainbow of sorts on it.

The point: Yes, M&Ms, in fact, melt in your hand.


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Posted by on June 17, 2010 in food


100 Degree Weather

Summer officially starts in just a few days, but as I said before, June 1st has always felt like the "official’ start of Summer to me.

The temperatures on are on the rise! We’re having 99 and 100 degree weather recently. It’s incrediblly hot.

Now comes all the things that I associate with summer, including freeze pops and popsicles, grilling out, and the sheer lethargy from the heat.

Also, there are more flies and bugs in general. It can be difficult to keep them out of your house at times! Obviously, flies move quite fast, and just opening a door can result in their flying in.

A really strange part about the Summertime is the sound of bugs humming in the evening and night. I’m not really sure how to explain exactly what this sound is; I’ve always thought it was crickets en masse, but I could be wrong.

The sound is a high-pitched, constant sort of cry that makes you realize that life is all around you. It rises and falls with a rhythm, like a concert.

Summertime’s heat causes tiredness, even if you aren’t actually working out in it. This is a mystery to me, but I first experienced it consciously last Summer, in 2009. Not even going outside, my body would be exhausted.

Going outside in the Summer in the South is like instantly walking into a wall of sweat. As for me, I’m a cold-natured person, which means my body stays colder than it does warmer most of the time; I can’t fathom what a hot-natured person who weighs more than I do endures during the Summer.

Carports or garages are almost necessary in the South. Unfortunately, ours is a one-car garage and is filled completely with everything but a car. The reason a garage is good in the South is to avoid the experience of getting into a hot car in the Summer in the South.

Imagine this: a car sits outside in the Sun in 100 degree weather. Can you imagine how hot it is inside? Literally above 100 degrees, like an oven, and depending on the material of the car, you can burn yourself. The metal on seatbelts is dangerous, and even the gearshifting handle and the steering wheel can burn you from being too hot!

However, Mother Nature wasn’t created without some kind of balancing program, and she’s good at cooling things off in the Summer, too, with the Summer thunderstorms- which will be mentioned in another blog!

Try to stay cool.


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Posted by on June 14, 2010 in food


Birthday Dinner, Part One

Wow-za! Without telling you how old I am now, I will tell you that recently I celebrated my birthday. As with many things in my life, the birthday dinner was a haphazard decision made by other people for my life. So be it, I guess- at any rate, the dinner did turn out to be delicious.

The first idea that came was for a vegetarian five-cheese lasagna. To this was added apple pie, as I’m not a huge fan of cake. Side dishes included an idea for mini-quiche and brussel sprouts and perhaps garlic toast. Not the world’s most organized menu, but we were working within the span of a few hours.

Also, the menu actually evolved into something different, so don’t worry about hearing the odd combination of food.

The side soon became olives, corn nuggets, garlic toast, and a dip with pretzels- much better.

Caleb was hard at work making the apple pie when Katie and Hurricane Tracy showed up. Tracy’s critique of Caleb’s work led her and Katie to immediately jump in and go to work on the food. The recipe for lasagna was actually her recipe, so it helped that the expert was making it.

The making of the crust…

The apples, being cut up.

At this point, Hurricane Tracy took charge and finished making the pie.

The pie, with a bow on top, ready to be baked.

And the finished apple pie, which was totally delicious!

I know this blog has been late in coming, but I had some technical difficulties with uploading the pictures. Part 2 should come a lot faster!


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Posted by on June 11, 2010 in food


Breakfast at Poppy’s

When I was a kid,  I (and later my brother), for several years, would go with my father to my grandfather’s house in the morning before school and have breakfast with him and my father.

We affectionately called him, "Poppy," which was a play on the "Papa Harris" that we normally said.

The breakfast we had was one of the oddest sorts, especially for a six-year-old. Bacon and coffee.

I am not joking or exaggerating by any means.

Poppy always had several pieces of bacon ready for us, and I took milk and sugar in my coffee. This doesn’t sound like much, but believe me, it was a delicious breakfast, even if it was somewhat unhealthy.

I can’t remember how much sugar I took in my coffee, but I think my dad always limited me to like two spoonfuls; in retrospect, that was a good idea.

The whole issue of drinking coffee began when I would wake up early in the morning, around 5 or so, and go sit with my father in his chair and watch early morning TV. My father, without fail, takes his coffee with cream and sugar.

To this day, I can take coffee black, blonde, blonde and sweet, hot, cold, just about any way.

However, I do not eat bacon for obvious reasons.

Anyone in the South can also tell you that food at a grandparent’s house is almost always better than anywhere else, and the tradition of breakfast at Poppy’s is no different.


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Posted by on June 10, 2010 in food

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