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The Abominable Cheese Sandwich

27 Dec

Today, friends and family, readers of the blog, I have compromised every single slice of integrity that I ever had when writing this blog and have become the ultimate hypocrite.

No, I did not eat any meat. So breathe your sighs of relief now!

Rather, late in the night, I began craving the taste of a cheese sandwich. And not just any cheese sandwich.

I began craving the taste of the world’s most disgusting, awful, terribly made cheese sandwiches.

Upon this moment of writing this blog, said cheese sandwich has just been consumed.

Yes, folks, despite all my efforts to have delicious foods with medium complexity, despite my desire to review the best of meals and describe the best of tastes, I have succumbed to the rumblings within my tummy and given myself over to the dark side for the mere price of a cheese sandwich.

Processed bread.

Processed, off-brand, cheese slices.

Mayonnaise.

Salt and pepper.

This goes against every distinctive culinary moral and sensibility I have developed over the past year! Why would I do something so atrocious? I’ve been betrayed by my own gustatory system!

Let us pray that the Gods of the Kitchen do not strike me down for my treason of their ways.

But the truth is that I really enjoyed that terribly processed cheese sandwich. I have no idea why. I’ve never craved that sandwich before. In fact, even when I’ve eaten actual cheese, I’ve almost consistently made it a point to not eat just a cheese sandwich unless it was grilled cheese, and even then the likelihood of eating it as a side of soup was drastically increased.

IN FACT, that sandwich actually brings back horror story memories from my childhood, which may be the next blog that I post.

Now, also understand, if you do sincerely like such plain cheese sandwiches as above mentioned, I don’t hold it against you- instead, I’ll just tell you that you haven’t really lived until you’ve had one of my cheese sandwiches.

But ah, I have lived! And now it’s as though I’ve rejected life and embraced death. What’s wrong with me?

Also, can you tell my lack of integrity by the fact that I posted the recipe for the horrible cheese sandwich after lamenting its very existence for several minutes?

Beaux


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2 Comments

Posted by on December 27, 2010 in food

 

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , ,

2 responses to “The Abominable Cheese Sandwich

  1. The Onyx Plate

    December 28, 2010 at 9:07 pm

    So what is your favorite cheese? Even though I am on the east coast, I do love Tillamook Cheese from Oregon. I wrote about it on my blog if you are interested. The cheese is made with 13% butterfat which lends the creaminess.

     
    • enamouredslave

      December 29, 2010 at 12:03 am

      Thanks for commenting! I’d definitely love to read your blog on cheesy goodness.

      So far, my favorite type of cheese is goat cheese- namely feta. Blue cheese is a close second. However, so far, so good, I haven’t tried to use those to make cheese sandwiches.

      I grew up eating the orange hoop cheese with the red rind. Hoop cheese is typically what I imagine when I hear someone say, “cheese.” I also love Swiss and Provolone.

       

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