Exaggerations: Messy Cream Cheese Poundcake Update, In Which Beaux’s Mother Goes Crazy and Father Terrorizes His Family with Food

24 Jan

So obviously my Daily Tea Post Idea failed miserably, but life has a way of intervening when you have excellent ideas. Plus most of us prefer coffee instead, so that further complicates things.

Blogo is working again; I can post directly from my MacBook. Unfortunately, I still can’t get that last post about Poppy and the Lazy Susan Table to format properly. Even upon editing it on my blog client and online, the formatting seems to be stuck as it is. I apologize again for the illegibility.

In other news, Gigi went crazy recently after being bitten by the baking bug, and so now I have several photos of the Cream Cheese Poundcake.

I’m tactful enough to hide the mistakes that were made with the poundcake; namely, I think we may have overcooked it (and by we, I mean Gigi.) There are two major indications of this. First, the crust of the poundcake (which is after all the very best part) is darker than usual, and second, when I removed the cake from the pan, part of it stuck in the pan at the very dark edges.

So either Gigi overcooked the poundcake, I removed the poundcake before it was finished cooling thoroughly, or we both contributed to the poundcake’s state of affairs.

The good news is that the cake is incredibly moist, and you can see the swirls and pieces of pure heavenly deliciousness in it.

Black coffee + poundcake = breakfast for the next week or so.

There were a few adventures besides the poundcake yesterday. The first involved Gigi turning into a banshee.

She had bought a lemon to poke with a fork like Poppy used to when he would put lemon in his tea, and when I expressed that the process did not seem overly complicated and that I could easily visualize how this was done without a full-blown demonstration, she turned purple (her favorite color, by the way), stretched out 30 feet long, and screamed like a banshee.

That didn’t last long, though, because she was more interested in making a pound cake. Plus Bapaw attacked her later, which I will tell you about…

…right now.

Later last night, my father, whom we now call Bapaw (thanks to my baby cousin), tried to attack both me and Gigi with food. Apparently this was some kind of stealth mission he was on, and apparently my entire family went bananas about food last night. (Even I know how bad that pun was.)

Phase 1 was the attack on Gigi. Bapaw brought home a big ol’ bag of peanut brittle- something Gigi loves but can’t eat due to the effect it has on her teeth- and plopped it right down in front of her in the kitchen.

Phase 2 was the attack on me. I was leaving to go to Caleb’s house, and as I emerged from my room, I smelled something burning.

The burnt smell danced around in the air until it transformed into the smell of a burning wet dog (which is not a possible smell, but this is literally what I could smell).

The closer I got, the more the smell revealed new and hidden frequencies of horror.

The final result was the scent of a burning wet dog covered in barbecue sauce.

Bapaw had completed Phase 2 by assaulting my gustatory system’s stability for the night.

I asked Bapaw what the smell was, and he said he had cooked some ham.

I hate to tell him, but the ham must have been spoiled, because I’ve smelled plenty of ham in my life and no cooked pig has ever smelled anything like a wet dog covered in barbecue sauce before. That, or the pig must have been fond of eating wet dogs covered in barbecue sauce by the ton.

Luckily, I was close to the front door and was able to escape outside to the cool, fresh air to keep myself from being sick. The smell had been overpowering.

So the point of this story is that there isn’t much of a point. I have pictures of the poundcake that will be posted soon. And in case you haven’t been able to tell, I’m exaggerating about everything that happened earlier- but it all happened.

Also, does anyone have a dairy cow they’d like to give us? Bapaw drinks milk like it’s going out of style. Milking our own cow would save us a good two hundred dollars a month.



Posted by on January 24, 2011 in desserts, food, southern food


Tags: , , , , , , ,

8 responses to “Exaggerations: Messy Cream Cheese Poundcake Update, In Which Beaux’s Mother Goes Crazy and Father Terrorizes His Family with Food

  1. Magnificent Minimalist

    January 24, 2011 at 2:52 pm

    Now I want cream cheese pound cake incredibly badly.

    • enamouredslave

      January 24, 2011 at 4:12 pm

      Gigi’s cream cheese pound cake is truly a phenomenon. Do you bake? Why not try out the recipe?

  2. gigi

    January 24, 2011 at 3:56 pm

    Okay, that is the 2nd cream cheese pound cake that did not turn out right. All the years that I have baked using this recipe and 2 in like 2 months screwed up. One in Dec. – then I did one that was perfectly fine – now one in Jan. and it has those globs of sadness in it. Do you think it possibly could be that the oven I am using is almost 25 years old and the thermostat or whatever dohicky may not be working correctly? I did every thing just like usual; okay the one in Dec. I used an off brand cream cheese; thought that was the problem; yesterday I used the Phil. and it still messed up. Tastes fine; we have eaten almost one third to one half of it.
    Oh, yeah, your dad finally smelled that smell after he had taken a shower and come back thru the house; he packaged that ‘stuff’ up and fed it to the dog…And turned on the vent to try to get the smell out….
    One question, just what is a banshee?

    • enamouredslave

      January 24, 2011 at 4:15 pm

      A banshee is a kind of screaming spirit in Irish folklore. They say that you hear a banshee screaming the night you die or something along those lines. Necessarily, it was but a joke, part of the exaggeration of yesterday.

      Maw-Maw’s oven has been messing up, too- it won’t cook things evenly. So maybe it’s nothing to do with you or our oven- maybe it’s just some random happenstance in the world that’s screwing things up. Maw-Maw’s oven is significantly newer than ours.

      Daddy smelled that smell, finally? I can’t imagine how he didn’t smell it before. My stomach feels queasy just thinking about it.

  3. gigi

    January 24, 2011 at 3:58 pm

    Oh, and wait to post the picture of the cake until I can bake another one that looks like a bundt cake is suppose to look….

  4. The Onyx Plate

    January 30, 2011 at 2:31 pm

    Sounds like a fun night! 😉 Don’t forget what I said about some flours changing. If the pound cake takes shortening…a lot of new food regulations of trans fats have affected the make-up of most of our favorite shortenings.

    • enamouredslave

      January 30, 2011 at 2:36 pm

      That’s very good advice to take into consideration, and I’ll remember it when we’re cooking again.


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