Exaggerations to the Extreme: The Monstrosity of Lemon Poppy-Seed Muffins

04 Feb

Once upon a time, we had a pack of muffin mix.

That was the first mistake. The sheer having a pack of muffin mix around me.

The pack of muffin mix was for lemon poppy-seed muffins.

This early in the game there are already two mistakes, and they only continued to bloom from there. fo

In my mind, this didn’t sound very sweet. In an effort to make them taste super yummy, I added sugar to them.

I sat in anticipation of the delicious lemon poppy-seed muffins as they baked away in the oven.

Then, when they were done, I took a bite of what I thought would be lemony delight.


Just no.

The muffins were definitely a savory variety, and the sugar destroyed any redeeming quality they had. The entire batch had to be chunked.

The taste was a conflict. Imagine a street riot in your mouth, with each person dressed as Lady Gaga and trying to commend your attention, and that pretty much explains what happened.

That was not a happy day for me.

Later I discovered it was a witch who had poisoned my mind with a spell, and thus I had made this grave error. This excused my destruction of an entire batch of muffins.

Said witch had actually been employed by a group of local garden gnomes that were in desperate need of lemon poppy-seed muffins, and so my failure turned out to be their boon. As I later found out from a hummingbird, the garden gnomes didn’t have an oven big enough to bake the muffins and so had to coerce me into doing it for them.

But I couldn’t figure out why they didn’t just ask.

That’s garden gnomes for you.

More adventures in cooking soon.



Posted by on February 4, 2011 in food, postaday2011, updates


Tags: , , , , , ,

5 responses to “Exaggerations to the Extreme: The Monstrosity of Lemon Poppy-Seed Muffins

  1. gigi

    February 6, 2011 at 7:23 am

    When did this happen? Just recently?

    • enamouredslave

      February 6, 2011 at 4:14 pm

      No, I think I was a teenager when that happened, but it was a nice thing to recall.

  2. gigi

    February 7, 2011 at 6:37 am

    Glad for the clarification… I just didn’t remember ever having had this in the pantry before…Probably something I picked up by mistake…..

  3. Project Van

    February 7, 2011 at 11:08 pm

    lol lady gagas in my mouth is a horriblet hings to imagine!


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