Exaggerations in the Life of Beaux: The Great Quest for Rosemary

01 Mar

For those of you who frequent my blogs, you’re all so very well aware of just how much of a fan I am of rosemary. Nothing can beat the flavor of fresh rosemary when its added to a dish, especially on the rosemary toast of which I’m so fond.

You can then imagine that I would eventually run out of rosemary at some point.

And I did.

So, like a good spice-user, I decided to venture into the local grocery store to buy more rosemary. After all, isn’t that what a person with common sense would do?

Ah, but this is the Slocomb area, and once you drive into the city limits here, the chances of your common sense being leaked out by osmosis due to the lack of other people’s common sense is ridiculously high. The people in this area abhor common sense. “Common sense? That’s for liberals!” they will say.

This lack of common sense even has crept as a disease into the grocery store. For you see, despite all the spices in the spice racks, despite everything being tidily organized in alphabetical order, despite it being a relatively easily resolved matter, there is no rosemary.

There is no rosemary.

And a third time: THERE IS NO ROSEMARY.

But oh, there are rare spices there, spices that would make Andrew Zimmerman proud. There are spices there that would allow any man from India to come and cook up a fantastic curry. “Vegan, fruitarian, zombie, you can cook, whatever your food may be; but nay, nay, they say, there shall be nary of the rosemary.”

I literally experienced a number of the shoppers surrounding me and bursting into chorus as they taunted me about the lack of the rosemary in the store. Thus, I burst into tears, running in shame and tripping an old lady on the way out.

So if you want rosemary, don’t go shop in Slocomb.



Posted by on March 1, 2011 in food, postaday2011


Tags: , ,

4 responses to “Exaggerations in the Life of Beaux: The Great Quest for Rosemary

  1. The Onyx Plate

    March 1, 2011 at 9:23 pm

    Plant a Rosemary bush…I have one (had two, killed one…it didn’t like a pot), very low maintenance (yes, even though I killed it, keep it watered)….and u never run out, so no reason to trip old ladies! 🙂

    • enamouredslave

      March 1, 2011 at 9:27 pm

      A rosemary bush of my own does sound like a good idea. Thank you for that suggestion, and I’ll get back to you on it to let you know what exactly happens with it.

      That might make an interesting series of blogs: the search for the rosemary, the planting of it, and so on.

  2. athursdayschild has a long way to go and much to be thankful for.

    March 2, 2011 at 9:42 am

    I’m surprised you’re not growing your own herbs. I do have trouble with rosemary and cilantro. Parsley and thyme are pretty easy here.

    • enamouredslave

      March 2, 2011 at 11:23 pm

      Yeah; I think it would be friendlier money-wise and eco-wise!


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