Van Random called me one night recently and asked if he could do a video while he was talking to me on the phone, and then told me he wanted to do it on fish-cleaning. I declined because it wasn’t free to talk on the phone but encouraged him to do the video anyway.
People in the South love to go fishing. That’s just something we do. You hear people speak of going fishing all the time; you hear everyone, man and woman, talk about some aspect of fishing adventures. One such story was told to me by a neighbor a friend; she spoke of the virtues of getting up at 3 AM to go fishing and having coffee and cigarettes on the boat.
Now that’s what I’m talking about. Despite the relative unhealthiness of both cigarettes and large amounts of caffeine, in some ways you have not lived until you have smoked a cigarette while drinking a cup of coffee.
Doing that while out on the pond fishing must be orgasmic!
Ponds have a distinctive smell; fish ponds have even more of a distinctive smell that’s difficult to explain, but if you’ve ever been close to it, you’ll always remember it.
As a matter of fact, I have a small story to tell before we get to the video:
When I was 5 or 6, my family went on a fishing trip. I caught a huge fish- it was 16 inches long. My father threw it back, because there was some rule he said about not being able to keep fish that were that long. Later, he discovered that no such rule existed or had changed. That was the biggest catch we had of the day.
Later, my aunt Mimi married a man who owned two fish ponds, and as children we would go out to the ponds and fish. I don’t remember catching any, but I do remember sitting with my cousin Susanne on one such trip and watching her as she cleaned the fish.
I’m not the sort of person who enjoys getting dirty; anyone who knows me understands that cleanliness is next to godliness in my mind. Thus, putting worms and crickets on hooks was not going to happen, much less the cleaning of a fish.
Admittedly, though, knowing how to clean a fish is a good skill to have if you eat seafood and most especially if you go fishing yourself.
Now, back to my buddy: I’ve been friends with Van Random for years upon years. He and I are completely opposite as far as creatures go. The accent that you’re about to hear in this video is 100% real and honest and accurate: this is how the guy actually talks, no exaggerations.
Also, as a forewarning to the faint of heart: he uses a few strong expletives in the video. They are few and far in-between, but they are there. The video’s about cleaning and gutting a fish, so if you’re squeamish or super-vegan or part of PETA, don’t watch it.